Finding Right Relationship

Today has been a day of relationships. 

And, no, I’m not talking romantic, though my romantic relationship is part of how I relate to the world. And that is where my thoughts are today. My relationship with the world seen and unseen.

More specifically, how life is based on relationship. Even more specifically, how spiritual practice is ALL about relationship. If there was a way to boil down most spiritual practices that I’ve been involved with, it comes down to the relationship between the practitioner and the spirit world.

This morning started with me going for a quick run. I was greeted with warm (for Northern Vermont early May) weather. The sun was shining. The maples are flowering, as are the poplars. The breeze was just right. I could comfortably wear a t-shirt (it’s a big deal!). So, I had to go home, rescue Josh from whatever work he was doing on the computer, and get him out for a walk for me. 

As we walked up our dirt road, surrounded by the woods, I looked down and caught a light hint of green. A piece of serpentine sat there in front of me. While I have seen this green stone around Vermont, I had never seen it close to our house. I picked it up and began assessing whether it was just something cool that was being shown to me, or whether it wanted to actually work with me. 

This is the work of assessing whether something is open to being in relationship with you. Just because you found something cool doesn’t necessarily mean it will be a good ally in whatever spiritual practice you have. 

As I walked up the road, I held it, asking questions. Yes, I was thinking at an inanimate object. You are reading the blog of an animist. This is something that happens often.I felt the resistance to it coming home with me to eventually find its way to work. The feel of the rock was lovely, though, and I felt that I was supposed to at least give it a little attention. So, as we neared home, I placed the piece of serpentine below my burden tree.

The burden tree is another example of relation with the unseen world. In this case, I guess, part of the seen world yet conventionally considered outside the realm of true communicative relationship. When I first began working with my teacher, Adhi, she had her students work with a tree. We called them our burden trees, because we would bring our emotional burdens to them, as well as learn from them. Talking to a tree isn’t so weird if you take the time to be quiet, listen, and observe. I’m not saying I’m hearing sentences from trees, but one can get impressions. 

Later today, someone had me come to their house for a clearing. They had multiple “weird” experiences, and the land had been the site of a terrible tragedy that took the lives of a father and his two sons over a decade ago. The first thing I do when I do clearings is build relations with the spirits of the land. Check in to see how they’re doing. Make offerings of honey and tobacco. Sometimes, weird energy starts with us being outside correct relations with the land.

Then, the house. In that work, I depend on my relations with my helping spirits. I depend on the beings I invite to help. I depend on my relation to the herbs that I use. Without the building of these relations, I would not be very good at my job. 

On my way home, I stopped by a spot where I like to visit the Connecticut River, the mighty waterway that defines the border of New Hampshire and Vermont as it eventually flows into the ocean down south. In my ceremonial practice, I had begun working with her officially half a year ago or so. I started with visiting her in vision, then heading to her in person to give offerings. This spot was suggested to me by a friend when I mentioned that I was looking for an access point in town that had less human traffic than the ones that I was used to. She mentioned one that passed through the land her family had lived on for generations. So, as I passed the cemeteries that guard this entrance filled with her ancestors, I made offerings to them. They are the guardians of that place, and I prefer to have a good relationship with them.

I reached the water, sat down, and stilled myself. I made offerings of tobacco and honey to the shore, and offerings of honey and flowers to the water herself. I sat and I listened. I cleaned up some trash that had washed up on the shore. As I readied myself to leave, I felt the spirit of the water direct my attention to a rock. This was for the southern altar in my ceremonial practice so I could include the river in my work. I thanked her as I took the rock up to my car.

None of these stories are really crazy, full of magical fireworks, but I think that this is how true relationships form. It isn’t about the flashy stuff, it’s about the continual small interactions that build these good relations. I had not gone to the water for a connecting rock to the river, but she gifted me with one anyways. I respected the energetic response of the piece of serpentine when I asked if it wanted to work with me in my energy work with clients. I gave thanks to my helping spirits after the clearing job. Relationship is a process of give and take, of balance. 

When putting out the intention of treating the world around you as a series of relationships instead of dead items to use as you will change how you experience everything. It is one of the first steps of creating a more magical life. Take a moment to ask yourself about your relationship with others, with the living world around you, with the nonliving world around you, and even yourself. Is there balance?

That question certainly does not come from a place of self mastery. I am often in wrong relationship with the world around me and the world within me. The first step in changing that is noticing where the imbalances are, though. 

As I chew over these thoughts of balance and right relationship, I am going to go make an offering to my land before I dive into some garden work. May we all find our right relationship with the world, seen and unseen, outer and inner.